Illuminated rambles

So I have been thinking a bit more about my actual practice over the past few days - actually for about a few weeks now and I think that I have been piqued by a few things: My very good friend (that I never see anymore) Cindy Baker has quit her job as program coordinator at AKA - an artist-run centre in Saskatoon, SK and committed to be a full-time artist; and since I started this blog it has occurred to me that my practice is a bit more complicated than perhaps even I realized. Okay that it NOT True, but it has illuminated things for me. I think that the work of Linda Montano has influenced me more than I realized. It is not that I am about to tie myself to another artist for a full year - yet! However, a great deal of how I see the world and interact with it is perhaps through the lens of an artist. While it seems trite - for me it is becoming important that I position myself there - as a cultural worker, as a curator, as an individual - because it also positions myself in terms of other artists and to others - audiences, institutions, etc. I wonder how others around me see this - how does my Board see me? or rather do they see me in those terms?

I started this blog as a structure for me to begin to be more … well, structured and "serious" about my art making and about the desire to begin writing again - I believe that this creates parameters, but also creates risk - opportunities for me to hopefully fail and succeed. I think it is also about creating balance for my artistic outputs and to (hopefully) re-energize me. Perhaps over time I will become more open about this platform - this blog - and begin to share it with others - beyond a smaller circle.

Today during Wayne Yung's artist talk at Latitude 53 for his exhibition 100 Flowers he talked about the importance of community and the need to have conversations with his peers - his tribe - especially two other Queer, Asian artists - to be able to put out thoughts and ideas and to begin conversations. Perhaps this blog might begin to serve that purpose for me. It might enable me to begin - pause - resume - rewind conversations with myself and by keystroking this it might focus and provide a different clarity to myself. While walking with Allison today she mentioned that her and Carmen mentioned that they were both enjoying reading the blog as it offered a different opportunity to enter into my process and into the work - this made me feel good because this is/was what I wanted. However, I hope that over time the discourse might become more than me smacking the keyboard and that dialogue might begin. I wonder where my community is, where my peers are? Edmonton is great and I feel that it is a rich community in some ways, however I also wonder where my peers are and when friends ask me why, Why I still live in Edmonton - I am finding this more difficult to answer. Yet, at the same time there is a responsibility that I have to build my peers and to build my community - my tribe and to help cultivate this for others. I have found the work with Exposure both frustrating at times, but, overall rewarding because while I am giving I am also receiving… and that truly feels good.